Happiness
I have always said that you are the only one that can make you happy! We shouldn't depend on others to make us happy. That is our one and only job we have in the whole wide world. So, why can't I be happy at work? Why can't I make myself happy there?
I received my newest issue of Yoga Journal and it contained an article that is making me question my feelings. I know, that is a scary concept. Anyway, the article basically explained that we as people tend to blame others for the way we feel instead of owning up to the feelings ourselves. There is a lot more to the article and I really need to read it again and pay more attention in order for me to try to explain it to you..... but ever since reading that article I have been questioning myself about my feelings that I have while I am at work.
Why does Julia make me so angry? My first response would be: Because she sucks at her job! Followed by: She is always on the internet, phone or a break! She always has some sort of family drama taking place which totally distracts her from her work or other people from their work because she has to talk to them about her problems! But then why do I care that she doesn't have the best job performance? And my first response to that would be: Because what she can't get done gets trickled down to me and I have to do both her job and mine. Followed by: And when she can't handle her job and starts to get buried, I feel that all eyes turn to me like it is my responsibility to bail her out because I don't have a full workbench and I "should" have time. Or, I am so efficient I can handle both workloads.
So, here is where my new line of thinking comes into play. In my above paragraph I am "blaming" Julia for my anger when I should be asking myself, What is the real reason she makes me so angry, the reason that I don't really want to admit to myself or others? Wow, well here it goes....................
I have never thought highly of people who are dependent on others and this girl screams nothing but dependency! Which is one reason why I try to be the most independent person in the world. I think I hate seeing the attention and coddling that she receives from her "poor me" syndrome. I think I hate it because at work, she has been the center of attention for quite some time now. I never thought I needed or even liked being the center person and perhaps that isn't it either. It is an importance thing. I don't feel like people think I am important and a valuable asset to this job. Everyone around me is too busy poo-poo'ing Julia to notice her aforementioned inadequateness, or they notice but don't want to deal with the situations and so they don't really notice the job that I am doing.
I received my newest issue of Yoga Journal and it contained an article that is making me question my feelings. I know, that is a scary concept. Anyway, the article basically explained that we as people tend to blame others for the way we feel instead of owning up to the feelings ourselves. There is a lot more to the article and I really need to read it again and pay more attention in order for me to try to explain it to you..... but ever since reading that article I have been questioning myself about my feelings that I have while I am at work.
Why does Julia make me so angry? My first response would be: Because she sucks at her job! Followed by: She is always on the internet, phone or a break! She always has some sort of family drama taking place which totally distracts her from her work or other people from their work because she has to talk to them about her problems! But then why do I care that she doesn't have the best job performance? And my first response to that would be: Because what she can't get done gets trickled down to me and I have to do both her job and mine. Followed by: And when she can't handle her job and starts to get buried, I feel that all eyes turn to me like it is my responsibility to bail her out because I don't have a full workbench and I "should" have time. Or, I am so efficient I can handle both workloads.
So, here is where my new line of thinking comes into play. In my above paragraph I am "blaming" Julia for my anger when I should be asking myself, What is the real reason she makes me so angry, the reason that I don't really want to admit to myself or others? Wow, well here it goes....................
I have never thought highly of people who are dependent on others and this girl screams nothing but dependency! Which is one reason why I try to be the most independent person in the world. I think I hate seeing the attention and coddling that she receives from her "poor me" syndrome. I think I hate it because at work, she has been the center of attention for quite some time now. I never thought I needed or even liked being the center person and perhaps that isn't it either. It is an importance thing. I don't feel like people think I am important and a valuable asset to this job. Everyone around me is too busy poo-poo'ing Julia to notice her aforementioned inadequateness, or they notice but don't want to deal with the situations and so they don't really notice the job that I am doing.
posted by zaftig at
10:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home